I'm not a religious
person; faith has always been something that eluded me. That doesn't
mean there aren't certain Christian aphorisms I find appealing.
One such is the
Serenity Prayer:
“God,
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to
change the things I can,
And wisdom to know
the difference.”
I like it because
of its existential underpinnings, something that has always appealed
to me. I've only recently started taking a conscious effort to live
under the principles of existentialism, and I don't know that I even
understand it fully. What appeals most to me, though, is that the
responsibility for my life lies solely with me. With the Serenity
Prayer, we are asking God to grant these things, but the serenity to
accept changes, courage to make changes and the wisdom to tell the
difference comes from within.
Some of you may
have noticed that it has been some time since I've written anything,
and what I have written may have seemed … off. If you hadn't
noticed this, you probably haven't been as distracted as I have over
the past month, and I'm happy for you. Usually, when I go through
stressful times, I take up pen and paper, or to the word processor,
to make sense of things. Much of these scrawlings will end up in a
piece somewhere and no one is the wiser.
Over the past six
weeks, though, I've not felt like writing; but now that I'm out on
the other side and had some time to think about all that has
happened, I can get back to work. If you are expecting a narrative of
all that has gone on, you can stop now. I can't impart that because I
am only a minor character in much of what has gone on in the past six
weeks. I have been the witness to events; the impact on my life
remains to be seen, but like the Serenity Prayer says, I'm looking to
find the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. And a lot of
this I can't change.
There are many
things I do control, and anyone who knows me may think of me as a
control freak. The truth is that I love control and I do not lack the
courage to make changes I can make. For the most part, that control I
exert is over my own life, but there are certain responsibilities I
have to my family, employer, and to the public through my role as a
journalist.
What I strive to do
is live my life authentically. Each day, we all make millions of
decisions; most of which are minor and inconsequential and done with
little thought. We may come into the office every morning and say
hello to everyone and go about our day. But we may not say hello to
one person in the office because that person made us angry last week,
or maybe she is racist, or a homophobe. Regardless, we determine that
our anger is such that we won't say hello. Here's the rub, to be
authentic, to live my life in a manner which is true to me, I have
decided that I want to be friendly to people regardless of how other
people treat me. So, to be authentic, I have to say hello to those
who make me angry. It doesn't mean I have to agree with them, but
just that I will be courteous.
There is no higher
moral authority telling me to be friendly other than my own desire to
live an authentic life. It's not always easy.
So, for those of
you traveling along through constant existential crises, thanks for
sticking along. For those of you waiting patiently for my next
fictional work, the writing of my next book has been hit and miss
lately. The good news is that I will soon let loose a long, short
story called “All Hail King Jerry the Greeter! King of Walmart!”
See you all in the
new year!
